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S- soap
H- habitual
O- ODOR ELIMINATION
W- wash yourself (see where I am going with this)
E- every day
R- Respect others NOSES
TAKE ONE
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Where do I start! It really sucks to be new somewhere and already know where the trouble lies. What acts did you have to perform while your husband was at war to get a position of authority. Or, were you just spiking the bosses coffee in the morning.
You can't run a department to save your life. Decide what you want to do. We dont even care anymore that you dont actually do anything; we just want you to decide what we are supposed to do. Get a grip!
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We come here to work, not to hear of how drunk you got last night. NEWS FLASH- you are not 21 anymore. Where are your small children when your husband leaves town for 3 weeks at a time on that "fishing trip" and you work 10 hour days then close the bars? And, do your stories have endings? You get so excited about shairng stories and boasting about your life experiences and you just leave us all wondering about the punch line. WOW what a bundle of exceitement you are!
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You DO NOT need to speak so loudly that the workers in the building next door know that there are hundreds of PMS colors. We all know that you are insanely miserable in your marraige and need attention somewhere- get it somewhere else. We are trying to do our jobs!! I sit 20 feet away and have customers ask why it is so loud here... HELLO, I work with PIPPY- keep it down; PLEASE.
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You take over a month to process a claim that should take a week. You spend too much time thinking of catty things to say in your 12 paragraph long e-mails about absolutely nothing. When you call and I don't answer, that doesn't mean you should just come to my desk. The sight of you makes my blood boil. If you want to argue about claims call the client yourself. I don't have time to argue..neither do you. Quit trying to make yourself look better by pointing out everyone elses mistakes!
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I hate it when my annoying, inconsiderate, holier than thou coworkers do not make another pot of coffee when they use the last cup. Or worse yet... the arrogant POS's leave just a squirt left in the pot. WTF! I've broken arms for less! I have visions daily of smashing the empty pot along side one of their heads.
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Shut the f### up already about your so called diet, which you've been on at least as long as you've worked here (5 years). You're still as misproportioned as you were on your first day so obviously the "diet" is not working. And the loud noises from the vending machine alert us all that you're not sticking to your "diet".
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Someone in my office keeps leaving ass-dandruff on the toilet seat multiple times a day. At least that's what I think it is. It is utterly disgusting and I have been tempted to send an all-staff email about proper hygiene and exfoliation.
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Hey, the next time you change a tampon or whatever, make sure it doesn't hit the wall behind the trash can when you throw it away. I thought I was going to throw up when I saw it! Ew!
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STFU with your random stories. Do you think I care if you hurt your hand while doing routine work? You put your hand in my face, smoothing out a finger wrinkle to EXPOSE what looked like a midget mesquite bite? What did you do? Do you think it was normal to whine to someone you were introduced a mere two hours ago about your F'ing pelvic exam, ovary issue that requires you to take a pill thus why you're eating a bagel? Did my generic nod and smile signal it was okay to carry on? Eat Glass!
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