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When I ask you a question PLEASE don't tell me to find out the answer myself and "let you know." You are the freaking MANAGER!!! Who the hell else am I suppose to ask?? Trust me, you're an idiot and I would've already consulted my other co-workers before asking you a damn thing!
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I have only two rules in the office: 1. Don't touch me, and 2. Don't Touch Me. Ypu get that close to me again while patting me on the back and I will punch you in the nuts. That is all.
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BLAH BLAH BLAH no point BLAH BLAH BLAH no punchline BLAH BLAH BLAH no ending
BLAH BLAH BLAH you live your life vicariously thru your grown kids BLAH BLAH BLAH you know someone who died more hideously, had a cyst with more teeth in it, recount stupid family stories ad nauseum BLAH BLAH BLAH you're always a victim wah wah BLAH BLAH you never shut the f**k up with your inane ramblings and I'm going to lose my goddamn mind if I have to listen to you for one more minute!!
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STOP SLAMMING THE DOOR! What are you, six? Everybody has the ability to make a bunch of distracting noise and THEY CHOOSE NOT TO OUT OF RESPECT FOR THEIR COWORKERS. While we're at it, STOP CACKLING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! Some of us do work that requires concentration.
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Why am I wearing headphones, all DAY...even when i'm not listening to anything? Because I don't want to talk to you. I don't CARE about your stupid stories, I don't care what game you played last night. So in other words please shut up.
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I know this may be news to you, but there is something on your computer called a print folder. It shows you how many jobs are waiting for the printer. Therefore, when you hit print and it doesnt work, you really dont need to hit it 75 more times. If it didnt work the first time, its not gonna work the 75th time either. Oh wait, eventually it will and then your document will come out 76 TIMES Jackass! Yes, 76 times, JUST LIKE THE AMOUNT OF TIMES YOU SENT IT!!! I'm getting you a typewriter!
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Do you have to talk on the phone to your boyfriend every 5 minutes? And does it have to be loud enough for the entire office to hear you say "but baby, all I want to do is go shopping right now...okay baby, I love you so much and I miss you so much right now that I wish I could quit my job and be with you all the time." Seriously, go ahead and quit. No one's stopping you.
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I started my dream job 10 months ago and you acted like an ass from the right get go! Hiding my stuff, mouthing off at me and then a few minutes later, all kiss-ass like. WTF! Now that we've both moved up in positions, you seem to think you can do nothing and put crap on people when they walk in the door. I am more computer friendly than you, so when l try to show you the things you asked me to show you, you get a smug attitude. I'm so sick of your attitude! Grow up or F**k off!
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Attention! You clucking fat hen. We HATE you. When you are not here we are all so happy and relaxed. You take a day off once a week. You don't do anything all day except make noise. You have f**ked five employees so far. You tell on everyone. You pawn your work off on other people and take credit for it. You're fat, you smell, your a bitch and are mean to everyone. No wonder you are not married. All you do is talk shit everyday. This job would be great if you didn't work here.
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SHUT UP!!! The old guy that continues to talk and talk and talk, just for the sake of hearing himself talk. Just today, you have used the same damn joke you use every day at least three times. You keep rambling on to anyone you can find about nothing, and even struck up a conversation with me while I was at the urinal! Your oral aggression is over the top and out of line and needs to stop. Oh, by the way...SHUT UP!!!
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